Cannabis Culture Quips from the Cannaseur
Editor's Note: From time to time, our suppliers send us samples of new products. Thankfully, we have a Chief Researcher, the Cannaseur, who enthusiastically took the assignment of testing some pre-rolls from Cheef Naturals.
When I was asked to review new cannabis products from Cheef, all critical thinking on my part was drowned out by the choral in my head singing operas of victory, because really, could you have a better job than being a cannabis taste tester?!? Of course, I'll do you that big favor, Bossman! I was given two well packaged pre-rolled cones, a "Fox Tail" rolled in keif and a "Snow Cap*" rolled in clear THC crystals. I turned down his request to FaceTime the tasting sesh, you know, federally Illegal and all.
'It takes a lot to WOW seasoned cannabis veterans.'
I knew this was one I'd do better if I tasted with a friend, passing keeping me from sucking down these beauties and tuning out on a couch, binge watching away my weekend, never to be heard from until all snacks were depleted. It was not hard to find my aide. Again, who would turn this offer down? I went over to my buddy's, and taking my assignment seriously, took out my notebook to record the insights of seasoned stoners.
The cones come in plastic conical tubes that were not shrink wrapped, but well capped. We started with the Snow Cap, both curious about THC crystals, a white powder that coated both the cone and the inside of the tube. The prerolls fit the tubes perfectly - clearly large but not stuck so were easy to access. As predicted, extra THC coating came out when uncapped and tipped onto the paper we'd laid out to catch any loose crystal dust. "You've gotta love a joint this big that comes with a half-teaspoon of cocaine as a bonus!," we joked. We also tasted this THC powder pile, which was not sweet and pretty flavorless to the tongue. It sure looked pretty dusted over 2/3rds of this spliff. And it takes a lot to WOW seasoned cannabis veterans. We agreed this would be a great party joint - impressive in size, novel in this THC crystal coating and flawlessly rolled in a natural paper with a crutch about an inch long that made passing without a clip or holder easy.
'We're fans of organic and natural ganja so shrugged
and sparked up with enthusiasm.'
Before getting too blasted, we looked over the label which emphasized "natural" and "organic," which we both look for, even if "organic" can't be strictly measured or stated since organic standards are set by the same federal government that considers cannabis itself an illegal Schedule 1 drug. The one cone has 1,500 milligrams of organically grown flowers, but does not say from where it is sourced or grown, and does not have the strain, landrace or THC/CBD percentages that discerning smokers look for and California regulations will require in January 2018 when recreational sales kick off. I was told these were made from a Cali-grown OG Kush, but the labeling doesn't reflect that, although Cheef Chews are separately labeled as Indica, Sativa, Hybrid and Pure CBD. But we're fans of organic and natural ganja so shrugged and sparked up with enthusiasm.
One thing about a cone like this is you get bigger hits right off the bat, front-loading the medicine to be sure you come on quickly. The THC crystals seemed to speed the run on the paper, which was shiny with the melt from this magic coating, but the run was uniform! Not just in one spot, and the still burning center material held together until it was burned to a true ash. About halfway down we put the joint out, noting again it's size and how perfect it would be at a party with more people to enjoy these first heady hits.
The high was physical and fun without the "couch lock" that Indicas are famous for. We could still talk about our observations, did not get lost in the TV or music, and it was a pleasant social high too. We both expected a delayed come on and thought we'd be blasted in another 20 minutes - not the case. But we did then find ourselves kind of touchy and had a fun fuck session, so I'd have to say it was sensual in that regard...
After the lovin', we came back to our assignment and took on the Fox Tail, which held the keif in place better than the THC crystals did. A thick cone, perfectly coated to the same 2/3rds point in slightly golden keif that was handsome on the natural papers Cheef uses. Again, the first third of the paper ran faster than the weed inside, but it also held until fully ashed.
One thing about both the cones is they did not have a noticeable smell. That could be that we usually smoke GGW (Good Green Weed) grown locally, which can be a problem as the scent is too strong and not easy to keep discreet. But the high was, like with the Snow Cap, sped up by the sheer girth of the cone at the phat end. The keif was not as oily as the THC crystals. That turned out to be how we could determine which tail was which. A way to label the name of the cone, (maybe printing "foxtail" on the crutch paper readable through the paper?), would help customers buy again the product they preferred.
With two people, the roaches were still good sized after we put the cones out, and we both enjoyed going back for more of each as the evening continued. The quality of the cannabis used in making these pre-rolls worked its magic, and it would be easy to sell these party passers for $20 and up at a dispensary, where a 16th of unrolled ganja can set you back $22 a gram or more. I'd love to try a Sativa pre-roll by Cheef - they clearly know how to craft a good pre-roll cone, and the mental, creative high of a good Sativa could really light up a party or creative project.
One thing my buddy (himself a member of a native tribe) did point out is that the labeling has an almost appropriative use of native symbols - feathers on a dream catcher, Cheef (albeit spelled differently than the tribal leadership title) and nature references in the names of the two products. Apparently, being tuned into the history of commercialization of native traditions, some in that population are offended by these cultural appropriations, especially when exploited to benefit white corporate America. Still, as he relit he pointed out, "I caught all that, and still I keep smoking it..." That's probably the greatest stamp of approval for these Cheef pre-rolled cones.
And BTW, we'd volunteer to try out any more products Cheef needs evaluated. Any time!
* Our Chief Researcher must have been thoroughly Cheefed when she wrote this. The "Snow Caps" she refers to are actually called "White Caps."